Obligations

*sigh*

I feel really whiny today, and there’s no particular reason. I think that almost makes this feeling worse. If you know the cause of an issue, it’s a lot easier to resolve it.

I feel a bit trapped and claustrophobic. While I am grateful I have a roof over my head and all the amenities that go with it, I am caught wanting to get out. You see, I live in a relatively small house where the only space that’s mine is my bed. In this relatively small house, there a few too many relatives. I can’t help but feel selfish and petty. I want a space of my own. I want the freedom to move out. I want more

…more than I can have.

I start a new job next month. I can start paying off my student loans. I can start saving up. I can start setting myself free.

I, I, I, I, I.

I think far too much of myself but for a girl that didn’t grow up with a whole lot, it might be understandable. I’ve studied some psychology and sociology. It’s in my profession to know what people want, need and desire. Unfortunately or fortunately, it has caused me to continually scrutinize and berate myself for wanting more.

I wish to escape that cycle.

one day at a time

Today, I spent some time thinking about illness and the strength it takes to make it through.

Facing challenges and overcoming difficulties is a part of life that we and the people we care about deal with in many facets. I’ve noticed, perhaps because of recent events in my own life, that there are more and more stories that shed light and celebrate this immense strength. Films and TV serials highlighting such extraordinary people are raising awareness and instilling respect in our society. Books made into films like The Fault in Our Stars and biopics like the Theory of Everything connect the viewers on a more personal, emotional level. Social movements like the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, Walks for Hunger, and Relay for Life at once entertain, raise funds, and set trends for the future.

Today, my introspection has led me to appreciate the life that I have been given, the luxury of good health, and the blessing of an expansive support system.

What are you grateful for today? What story has reached you?