Obligations

*sigh*

I feel really whiny today, and there’s no particular reason. I think that almost makes this feeling worse. If you know the cause of an issue, it’s a lot easier to resolve it.

I feel a bit trapped and claustrophobic. While I am grateful I have a roof over my head and all the amenities that go with it, I am caught wanting to get out. You see, I live in a relatively small house where the only space that’s mine is my bed. In this relatively small house, there a few too many relatives. I can’t help but feel selfish and petty. I want a space of my own. I want the freedom to move out. I want more

…more than I can have.

I start a new job next month. I can start paying off my student loans. I can start saving up. I can start setting myself free.

I, I, I, I, I.

I think far too much of myself but for a girl that didn’t grow up with a whole lot, it might be understandable. I’ve studied some psychology and sociology. It’s in my profession to know what people want, need and desire. Unfortunately or fortunately, it has caused me to continually scrutinize and berate myself for wanting more.

I wish to escape that cycle.